he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
