do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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