I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize