It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
