I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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