Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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