So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
