Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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