Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
