What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
