I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
