She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize