i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
