I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
