I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
