she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
