Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
