I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
