I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
