are you so shy because you have an std?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
