What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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