do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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