currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
