I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
