i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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