So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
