he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
