I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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