question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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