Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
