Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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