made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
