its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
