I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
