East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
