IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
