the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
