there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize