i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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