He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
