I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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