you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
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