If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
