I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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