I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize