I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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