Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
