Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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