would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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