what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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