I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
