yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
