I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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