it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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