Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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