I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
did i walk over a car last night?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize