you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
