There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
