I just made out with a guy for $7.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
