Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
