Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize