so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
