why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
