a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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