am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
