I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
