You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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