And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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