He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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