I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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