Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
