I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
