i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
