I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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