I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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