i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
