Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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