it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
