At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
