all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
