I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
