so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
