you turned your livingroom into a bong?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
