The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
