I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
