he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
