just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
