i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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