Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
