So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
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