i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
