Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
